Cheating, Betrayal, Ditching, and Options 
| Kriti Kamal, Assam, Woman Thought Leader - 25 Mar 2019

Betrayal, Some Relationship End, and It is Painful

 

What happens when someone whom you trust and loved hard goes out from your life with other partner, without saying a word. Then what to do? Revenge or Forgiveness? Accusation or Introspection? There is hope in every situation. Things can work out, if you really start a fresh, without stress, without looking back, without finding faults, with some corrections in attitude, taking the things easy, normal with a clean and pure mind.

 

By Kriti Kamal

Betrayal means "an act of deliberate disloyalty”!

It’s like a train wreck that you never see coming back. There are many circumstances that could be considered betrayal, from a friend turning on you in your time of need to a romantic partner, carrying on an affair behind your back. 

It means that you gave your trust to people who turned out not to be worthy of it . And people conspired against you without letting you participate in the issue.  This adds a loss of control to that feeling of lost trust. 

The moment someone or your love walks out of your life, the immediate feeling or reaction that comes through you is anger. You blast! 

We know that anger is not a good emotion but you can’t believe how quickly they changed. How easy it was for them to leave.  You don’t understand why they cheated. 

You look back and see where things went wrong. You over analyze and over think and over investigate. You start introspect the whole issue.  You start questioning with yourself. 

But what you don’t realize is that no matter how ugly a relationship has ended, it doesn’t change the fact that both of you loved each other genuinely at one point. 

You shared good memories with this person. They made you smile, laugh, and feel special at times.  They were the reason why you were so inspired, so happy to live life.

When you lose someone, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they never cared about you. It doesn’t mean that what they felt towards you wasn’t real. It doesn’t mean that you never mattered to them.

When you lose someone, it simply just means that the two of you aren’t working out right now. 

Maybe someone needs to grow more. Maybe someone must experience more things in life to figure out who they are. Maybe someone wants space. 

What happened in the past would remain part of your history and their history.

You can let them go and love them at the same time. You can choose to remember the memories you made with them without bitterness.

You can still wish them well. Because losing someone doesn’t automatically mean burning bridges. You can be in good terms with them even if they hurt you.

The thing is that not everyone you will meet will be in your life until the end of time. 

Some relationships fall apart because two people grow in different directions. Some people give up fighting for it.

Some people cheat and betray the other one. And some people just want to try something new. 

Whatever the reason why relation ends, no one can deny the fact that it hurts. And it gives you so much pain that you can’t bear it for long.  Because you know that this is unhealthy for you, for your mental and physical health. 

It will take you days, weeks, months to get over this person depending on how long you’ve been together. You will feel a great loss, like a huge part of you died. 

Once in a while, you will feel guilty, regret, sadness, anger, resentment. All negative feelings. These emotions are all part of break up.

They are normal and you should allow yourself to feel them. Don’t compartmentalize your feelings because they’ll only come back in the worst time. 

Even when relationships don’t turn out the way we want them to, it doesn’t mean we’ll never find a better one.

There is hope in every situation. Some things don’t work out because they’re not meant to. The sooner you accept that, the easier it is for you to heal.

In time, you will understand why you had to go through this horrible situation. 

Eventually, for the good of your own mental and emotional health, you should forgive the person who betrayed you. 

Start by healing yourself emotionally and surrounding yourself with people who care. If you wish to rebuild your relationship, you can do so after forgiving the person.

The best way to deal about a loss is to forgive yourself, the world, and most importantly them, to nourish your soul. We should be the person who knows how to forgive someone. 

Be the kind of person who looks past people’s mistakes. That even though they burned your feelings way too much, you’re still able to look at them and say that you have forgiven them.

You can acknowledge that it’s human nature to mess up and sometimes what people do at a specific point in time don’t necessarily reflect who they are in general. 

Be the kind of person who moves on without waiting for someone’s apology because waiting for it will only drag you down.

You don’t have to take revenge to be happy. By simply living best life is, in itself, a proof that you’re healed and you’re willing to forget the past. 

Be the kind of person who forgives not because you have to, but because you believe it’s better to have a heart that is less heavy.

Because holding grudges will not make your life longer and because feeling bad about someone will not bring sunshine in your life.

So let go and keep moving forward. Look for what you can do today to make your tomorrow a little brighter. 

Be the kind of person who chooses peace over resentment. Who wants to just enjoy the new day and forget yesterday. Be the kind of person who is always keen to start all over again cleanly.

You aren’t here to stress over people you can’t control. You are here to focus on your journey, to continually improve your situation, and be the best version of yourself. So do just that and keep going. 

Smile ~ love ~ laugh.

(Kriti Kamal is a freelance writer, poet, social worker, and woman thought leader. She writes on socio-cultural issues. She can be contacted on Email kritikamal35@yahoo.com )

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article are the personal opinions of the author. The facts and opinions appearing in the article do not reflect the views of Indian Observer Post and Indian Observer Post does not assume any responsibility or liability for the same.

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